What I Get Away With

I wasn't too sure how to title this blog, but I find it really interesting how laid back my schools are. So I guess it is more appropriate to say, it's amazing how much the schools get away with. If the same practices were to happen in an American school, it would have to close down due to being sued every week.

Thankfully in Japan, no one sues each other. What happens is just a part of life and you have to suck it up. Take the jungle gyms for instance. Built on top of hard earth (no sand) and around 10 feet high, as the kids navigate these monstrosities of iron (no plastic here), it reminds me of a level from Mega Man, where one slip has you falling to your death on a bed of spikes.

In Kijoka (the small area of Ogimi that I live in), there is an old Swedish man who has built a log cabin from materials he shipped from Finland. It is one of the most surreal things I have ever seen, and for that reason, it makes a great field trip. So when I arrived at my Tuesday school, I was approached by my 2nd grade teacher if I would help drive the kids there after lunch.

That's right, no parent permission slips in Okinawa. After lunch, all the girls got into the teacher's van, and all the boys got into the Wonder Wagon. There were 5 of them, one in the front who I made buckle his seat belt, and then four sitting in the back seat belt-less.

And that's it. Just a moment of, "This would never happen in America." while at the same time thinking, "Maybe we just need to chill out."

Another Wedding, Running, and English Thoughts

Next July, two of my friends from Florida, Tyler and Mana, will be getting married in Tokyo. Mana's parents are Japanese and she has lots of family in the Tokyo area, so I believe the plan is to have the wedding ceremony in Florida, and then the wedding reception in Japan. The two were (are?) both active in the Japanaese Club and they credit me as the reason they met in the first place (aw, shucks).

Awhile back, I was asked to do an impossible thing. A Herculean task. They wanted me to come to Tokyo to MC the wedding in both English and Japanese.

I sat on it for a couple of months, but near the end of November, they needed of a decision. Leaning on the advice of local JET Vaughn who said, "sometimes it's good to play outside your comfort zone", I accepted. I think I have no idea what I've gotten myself into.

The only thing I have to go by is the MC I saw at the Okinawan wedding I went to, and I remember thinking, "they probably payed a lot of money for that guy".

But if he can do it, that means people are capable of MC-ing a wedding in Japanese, and since I am a person, I think statistics are in my favor.

***

And in other crazy news, I've signed up for my first race in Nago. All 10K of it!

Before coming to Okinawa, I had heard about how a lot of people get into running here. I managed to avoid it until I went to go watch a race on Ie Island last April. Being surrounded by people getting ready to run, I began feeling like a fat slot for not participating. Then in November, I went to Iheya Island to sit around and drink and watch my second marathon. I felt like a fat slob after that too.

So in London, I bought myself a pair of size 14 (oh yea!) Asics Stratus. Japanese food plus doing basketball and karate every week has kept me in average shape, but it is now time to step up my game. I started training two weeks ago and I should be more than ready for the race in the beginning of February.

***

I took the JLPT Level 2 on December 7th. Level 2 is infamous for the large jump in difficulty between it and the test I took last year, Level 3. Last year, I walked into the test thinking I was going to blow it out of the water and walked out worried that I just blew it because of the listening section. This year, I walked in thinking it could go either way, and I walked out with pretty much the same feeling. Maybe with a little more confidence on the passing though.

In 2010, they are changing the tests to a N1-N5 format (according to Wikipedia). I'm going to take N1 regardless of if I pass or fail this test. To me, why run a race over and over again just to achieve 2nd place?

***

I have decided to officially revoke the 3 years of Japanese study I took at UF. Why? Because saying I studied for 3 years prior to living in Japan is a lie. When I met Yuka's brother in London, he was practically fluent in English. I asked him how much English he knew when he first moved there, and he said he had to start with his ABCs. Yes, I'm sure he knew his colors, some animal names, and could count to 10, but that's not knowing a language. In 4.5 years, he has reached a really high level of English communication. Part of it was that he was lucky enough to meet a guy who spoke 4 languages and told him that if he's going to learn English, he has to live English. That means English everything: TV, movies, books, friends, etc.

So then what did I learn during my 3 years at UF? I would say about 6 months worth of material. I'm picking that number based on the new English teachers that arrived in Okinawa in August. A lot of them knew no Japanese, and now they know about as much as I did coming in.

Also, the JLPT tries to determine your ability, not by the number of "years" you have studied, but by the number of hours you have studied. The numbers they use to separate you is retarded, but the idea is sound.

So at UF, I probably studied...8 hours a week...16 weeks a semester...2 semesters a year...3 years...768 hours! Wow, that's a lot! Now divide that by 24 hours a day and you get...32 days. So the equivalent of living in Japan a month.

So when people ask me, how long have you studied Japanese? I will now say (as of today) 2 years. With the goal of being as good as Yuka's brother is in English by the 4.5 year mark.

*Note: The teachers at UF are awesome. I'm blaming my work ethic and just trying to develop a more accurate picture of how much I have actually studied.

***

And speaking of UF, it's so awesome to have been a part of the best university with the greatest football team EVER. A local JET who also went to UF and I are currently writing a childrens book of Tebow bedtime stories:

"And then with the other hand, he picked up the other team... and carried them into the end zone for a touchdown!!"

Weirdo

I think I have a stalker, and no, it's not Ebi-chan.

The week before London, I get a phone call from a Japanese guy who wanted to come observe my classroom. He came by on a Thursday and introduced himself as Nobu, a 50ish year old English cram school teacher in northern Okinawa. His English was near perfect. He use to work as a high school English teacher and spent several years in America getting his Master's in linguistics. He has also visited 47 states.

Having taught English at various levels, he had never seen an elementary school class. So I invited him to sit in on my 3rd/4th grade class. Everything went as normal, and I had a moment of amusement when he asked the kids what they like to do. One of the kids said, 'I like karate!', the American way. Nobu went, 'Huh?' and after the kid did a little demonstration, he goes, 'Oh, karate!, in the Japanese way.

American pronunciation - 'kuh-RAH-tee'
Japanese pronunciation - 'KAH-rah-teh

After the class, he said he was interested in seeing a 5th/6th grade class, but he wasn't able to stay today, could he come to see me tomorrow?

The next day was when it got weird. The walk to the classroom takes you by a small rock garden. As we were walking to class, he stopped and made the following reflection:

"I like nature. I have a secret place in the middle of the woods where I hide from my wife. It has a rock garden like this."

I nodded and then went ahead with my class. Afterward, he wanted to talk with me for about 20 minutes. I thought it would be about English education and the like, but it turned out to just be a casual conversation where we talked about where he studied, his thoughts on America, etc. I soon realized he just wanted to talk to me and wasn't interested in my English class at all. Finally, he asked me, 'Would you like to come visit my rock garden today?'

I politely decline because I told him I had to pack for London. 'Well, I'll contact you when you get back.'

And that's exactly what he did. I got a call from him last week. He wanted to know how to spell 'ribbit', and did I know 'ribbit' in Japanese was gero gero? Ha ha ha. We hung up, and then he called back 5 minutes later telling me he couldn't find 'ribbit' in his Japanese-English dictionary. Did I spell it right? I told him to Google it and that I had to go.

Haven't heard from him for the past two weeks though. I think I'm in the clear.

ALT For a Day

I've mentioned many times before that my job title is an Assistant Language Teacher, but I actually run the classroom since teach at the elementary level. The government, however, has decided that starting in 2012, English will be a mandatory subject for 5th and 6th graders. At that time, my job will change from teacher to assistant teacher, and the current homeroom teacher will be in change of the English. In Ogimi, this system begins this year as one of the trial villages.

Some of the head-education-honchos came to Ogimi Elementary today to observe and videotape one of my classes. For some reason, they wanted to see me teach 1st graders. Completely unrelated, but I somehow suspect the 1st grader teacher was responsible for getting her class to be the demonstration class. She is known as 'English Michiko'-sensei, because everyone, including herself, thinks she can speak English. She just knows a lot of cliched Japanese-English that she pushes on the kids and I try to tear away. One phrase is the infamous "See you!" Also, in preparation for this class, she decided to teach the kids 'What is this month?' It may be correct, but no one says that. Besides, this is 1st grade. When would I ever want to ask a 1st grader, 'What month is it?'

About two weeks ago, we had a meeting to discuss what we would do, and we had the following conversation:

English-Michiko : In two weeks, we have a demonstration class. I will be the teacher and you will be the assistant.
Me : Ok.
EM : So, what do you want to do?

I don't like the idea of changing the way I normally run a class just because some big shots are coming. I want them to see what it is actually like. I was also upset that these people would be viewing this particular class, cause there are only four kids. My average class is around ten, and that is perfect. Four is just too few. Plus, it's 1st grade, and I don't like teaching that grade level.

To make a long story short, since she said, 'What do you want to do?', I gave her the lesson plan of what I do in class EVERY WEEK and told her I wanted 1st and 2nd graders combined to make the class bigger. She had a few of her own suggestions, though, such as the "What is this month?" stuff. Needless to say, I threw that out, and in the end, she complied with everything I said. I taught the class the way I wanted to: my way with her in the background, the way it always is.

The future problem will be how long can I get my way? I know English-Michiko is going to try to be the 5th and 6th grade homeroom teacher next year, even though there is another teacher more qualified than her that would let me do what I want. But I guess it's good experience to be in a team-teaching situation with someone you don't like. Teaches you to work well with others and all that stuff.

Afterward, the big shots and all the school teachers had a meeting where the big shots tried to reassure the teachers that they are more than capable to teach English and not to worry. None of the teachers want to teach English and none of them can speak it. It would be like Florida deciding to make 5th and 6th grade have mandatory Spanish classes.

So after lots of talking and complaining, they showed a video. The video was entertaining from an English perspective. Two funny points were:

-The title of the DVD was, 'You can do it!'.
-There was a part where the kids were singing a numbers song, and the teacher crossed out all the 3's on the board where the kids were suppose to clap. So she pointed to all the 3's and went, 'crap, crap, crap, crap, crap'.

***

To pat myself on the back a bit, this same school did a student questionnaire where the kids would give their opinions on all the classes and activities they are currently doing. Guess whose class was the only class/activity to get a 100% 'fun' ranking by every student in the school (all 50 of them)? Hint: he's the tallest guy in Ogimi.

London

Last week, I took a week off from school, and Yuka and I went to London to visit her brother, Kaz. We stayed at his apartment, and I found staying with someone gives you a completely different perspective of a place than staying at a hotel. Yuka only wanted to shop, and I had already visited most of the tourist stops the last time I was there. So we basically spent a week walking around, hanging out with Kaz's friends, and eating lots and lots of food. It felt like I was lived there and it was a lot of fun.

Here are some of my observations:

-There is a huge diversity of people in London. Walking down the street, you would see Spanish, Russian, Turkish, Polish, American, French, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and many other types of restaurant. Riding the tube or bus, you would also hear all of these languages. This may come as no surprise to people, but it did catch me off guard after spending a year and a half in a country with no diversity.

- The number of people speaking English as a second language is amazing. This is a bit of a tangent from the first point, but as someone who is trying to master a second language, and as an English teacher, I was a lot more aware of the people around me. I hung out with a lot of Kaz's friends, and all of them were near fluent. So to the people who complain in Japan about how Japanese people can't speak English, I would say you're looking in the wrong country.

-London felt safe. The last time I stayed in a large non-Japanese city was when I accidently booked a hostel in Harlem during Christmas 2 years ago. I enjoyed my vacation then, but knew that I could never ever live in New York City. I could easily live in London. The only complaint is that it's a bit dirty. After riding the subway for the day, I would wipe my nose out with a tissue and it would be black. Gross.

-Heathrow sucks. It's big, dirty, and ugly.

-The Heathrow electronics shop is awesome. Bought a 16 GB iPod touch for about 8,000 yen cheaper ($80) than if I had bought it in Japan. However, since it's 2nd generation, I can't jailbreak it.

-Sad that I left before I could see J. K. Rowling. I was standing in line at Borders, and an employee says to another, "So, are you seeing Rowling on Wednesday?" I interrupt with them with an "Excuse me? Did you say R-R-R-Rowling?" Turns out she's visiting that very store, and I left 2 days before she arrived.

-Oxford lives up to the hype. We took a half-day trip to Oxford and Yuka humored me as I marveled at architecture. I will definitely be sending a grad school application here, even if my chance of acceptance is low.

All in all, a very fun trip. I did not have jet lag there, and I did not get jet lag coming back. I arrived in my apartment Monday night at midnight, and I woke up at 7 Tuesday morning to go to work. That's how hardcore I am.

Crazy Kids

One thing that I find amazing is how early a kid is able to develop a personality. When I started the job, I thought all kids would be the same, but even at the kindergarten level, each child is different.

And so it is with Yushi, my 3rd grader at Tsuha Elementary. He's the cool kid. He's the biggest, the loudest, and the most energetic. But that doesn't stop him from being a complete idiot.

He just happens to be a little too big, a little too loud, and a little too energetic. Overall, he really is nice and doesn't have "Future Gas Attendant" written all over him like a lot of my students do. But he's just kinda dumb.

Today, in between periods, the 3rd and 4th graders were playing Tag in a space that consisted of my classroom and outside. From what I can gather, Yushi was inside, saw one of the kids running by outside through a window, and...decided to jump through it.

Or something like that, I'm not to sure. I think he forgot there was a glass pane in the window and wanted to extend his head out of the building.

This was taken with my phone, so the scale is a little hard to judge. You are looking at about a 4 foot tall pane of glass. He almost single-handedly blew out the window, which is why I think he wanted to jump through it as oppose to "extend his head", as he put it when he explained what happened. There are even strands of his hair still stuck in the glass.

Needless to say, he busted his head open, but being a kid, he just brushed it off.

I just can't look at him the same anymore. Every time he comes into my class now, I'm just going to shake my head and mutter "moron" under my breath.

An Okinawan Wedding

Last Saturday, I went to my first wedding (I'm not counting the one I was dragged to when I was 5).

I was looking forward to it a lot, mainly from a curiosity stand point. I have been told Japanese weddings are boring, and Okinawan ones are a lot of fun.

The person getting married was Kenichi-sensei, the 3rd/4th grade teacher at Tsuha Elementary. When he gave me the invitation, the first thing I did was to call Yuka. She said I needed to wear a white tie, get about $300 in crisp bills from the bank, and put them in a special wedding envelope. I knew you were suppose to give money instead of gifts at weddings, but I didn't realize how much. And I didn't want to go buy a tie either. So I asked an Okinawan friend, and he said in Okinawa, you are only expected to give $100 and I could wear any color tie I wanted except black. Okinawa 1, Japan 0.

After making the drive to Naha, I parked, put on my coat, and felt the way I always do when I wear a suit...slick.

But as I walked into the hotel and found the ballroom the wedding would take place in, I started to get nervous. I think one part of it was everything looked really expensive and I was afraid of breaking something. I think the other part was when I walked into the room, it felt as if the music stopped playing, the talked died away, and everyone started staring.

Well, not that bad, but I did notice my white-ness a lot more than I usually do.

Once I sat down and started eating, all the nervousness went away. Eating, it turned out, was the highlight of the wedding. The money you give as a gift goes to cover the cost of the wedding, and they certainly did not hold back. There were sashimi boats and sashimi salads, lots of Chinese-style dishes, and other soups and fruits. I felt like I ate $100 worth of food and I also felt like it had been worth the money.

During the eating process, which went on for about 3 hours, apparently a wedding was going on in the background.

To set up the scene, there were 4 huge movie screens, 2 on each side of the wall, and 4 camera men running around, with each camera hooked up to the screens. They also had an MC who, judging by his professionalism, was not a friend of the family. I could almost see the A, B, and C wedding packages the hotel offered in my head. It felt as if they went with package C.

There were three main acts, where the bride and groom came out each time wearing a different outfit. When the couple made their entrance, the lights would dim, and they would play some kind of music designed to make everyone cry. They would walk from one end of the room to the other, where there was a table and chairs placed to have them looking out on everybody. Friends and family would come up and make a speech to them, then when the speeches were done, they got up and left to change again. During the changing, there was a stage on the opposite end of the room where there were people doing comedy routines, dancing, and singing. More food would also be brought out at this time.

In the first act, the bride and groom wore traditional Okinawan wear. The dad walked his daughter out holding an umbrella thing above her head. He then passed the umbrella to the groom, and he walked her the rest of the way.

In the second act, they came out in standard Western wedding wear. They made their walk across the room and cut cake.

In the third act, they came out in what seemed like prom outfits. In Japan, high schools and the like don't have prom or any kind of school dance, so I think Japanese girls rarely get to dress up. I'm only guessing, but I think that's what this third outfit is suppose to be, a chance to look all pretty. The groom came out holding a long candle, and he and the bride walked to each table to light the candle in the middle.

After that, the bride and groom each read letters they had written to their parents. Stuff like, "You are the greatest mom and dad and I'm going to do my best to take care of my new wife." This caused more crying. They then swapped places and gave letters they had written to the other person's family.

Finally, the sanshin came out, people started getting up and dancing, and everyone ran to the stage and started throwing the groom up in the air.

Overall, lots of fun, and I want to be invited to another one. I tried getting a price on the wedding from somebody, but they said they didn't know. Yuka told me weddings START at around $10,000. I believe it now.

I, personally, would want to do it Singaporean style. I was told by a friend's girlfriend, that people in Singapore make a PROFIT from weddings. They do the money gift thing too, and I guess budget based on how much they expect to receive.

Either that, or have a back yard barb-b-q, Father of the Bride style.

Halloween Candy

My mom told me she was mailing a package with some Halloween candy in it. I was not expecting the 12 pound crate that arrived at my door on Tuesday. So today, I trucked it to school to the rejoicing of many kids. Free candy is unsurprisingly a big hit, but I found it amusing that the majority of the kids told me they liked the candy, even though they thought it was too sweet.

What kind of kid finds something too sweet? A kid that isn't addicted to sugar.

***

I'm kind of a lazy teacher in the sense that I don't like doing activities that involve lots of prep work. I also don't want to spend money on the class. So I make do with what's available in the schools and that suits my needs just fine. When Halloween comes around, lots of elementary teachers do lots of crazy activities. My predecessor, for example, held a Halloween festival each year where the kids bobbed for apples and did various arts and crafts. That's awesome, and I might even consider doing something like that if I was at one school. But if I do it at one, I have to do it at the other three, and can I really be blamed for not wanting to do that?

However, last year, one of the vice-principals went on base and bought two pumpkins, in which I showed the 5th and 6th graders how to carve. It was a lot of fun, but this year, we have a different vice-principal who did not go on base and buy pumpkins. In fact, I had completely forgotten about the last one doing it. When the now-5th grade came into class, however, they asked me if we were going to carve pumpkins, and got sad when I told them we weren't.

I felt a little bad, but then I shrugged, belted out a "しょうがない！", and kancho-ed the kid who complained.

***

I wish either English was an elective in elementary, or even better, I had the power to pick who was in my class. Most of my class are awesome and run very smoothly. However, there is one kid, at one school, in one class, who seems to be able to throw the entire class in chaos. Basically, he doesn't stop talking, and when we play games, he cheats. The teacher yells at him, the kids yell at him, I glare, and none of that has any effect on him.

He has an older brother, who is also a brat, but he's in the 6th grade class with the nazi teacher. At first I hated this nazi teacher, but now I have a profound respect for her. She runs a class ruled by fear, and while I theoretically disagree with what she does, I have to admit, it is the most well-behaved class out of all my schools.

Plane Crash

Who says nothing interesting happens in Yanbaru?

Friday night, I was coming home from karate, and as I was leaving the north end of Nago, traffic started seriously slowing down, and then eventually came to a halt. The bridge I needed to cross was blocked and they were redirecting traffic to a serious of smaller streets. In northern Okinawa, there is practically one main road, the 58, and the fact that this was blocked was a huge inconvenience. Police had barricade about a kilometer of the highway, and it took about 30 minutes just to make it through that bit.

When I got to the end of the detour, there was a field on my left fenced off, and a police officer between every post blocking entrance. Inside the field there were huge spot lights lighting up the area like a football field. There were cops everywhere! I've never seen what a bomb threat response would look like, but this is what I imagined it to be. There was an electronic sign that said, "road closed, traffic accident".

The next morning, I headed back into Nago. This time, the road was open, but the field was still blocked. There were military people walking around and lots of news vans on the side of the road. Turns out a plane with military on board crashed. Everybody on board lived, with only one having some serious injuries. Across the street, there is a Family Mart, and apparently after the crash, one of the uninjured ran inside to call for help.

It may just be me, but I find it a little humorous imaging that foreigner using gestures to try to explain that he just crashed his plane across the street to the Family Mart employee.

US airman injured in Japan plane accident

Baseball

Based on TV coverage, I would say baseball is the biggest sport in Japan, followed by sumo. They don't show MLB games (at least not on my 5-channel TV), but Japan has it's own baseball league that people seem to enjoy. Although MLB games aren't shown, everyone seems to know the MLB 'exchange students', the Japanese players who play on professional American teams.

Honestly, I think Japanese textbooks should be revised and include the following self-introduction dialogue:

Japanese: Hello.
Foreigner: Hello.
J: My name is Daisuke, are you from America?
F: Yes.
J: What state?
F: *insert home state*
J: Oh! Do you know *insert Japanese player that plays on a baseball team in mentioned home state*?!

The thing is, I'm hardly exaggerating. At least when it comes to meeting older guys. They know their geography of America, based on the locations of Japanese baseball players. It's kind of the equivalent of explaining to someone back home where you live in Japan. The standard answer is "I'm X hours away from Tokyo."

So today, following Tamba Bay's win over the Red Sox, I have been congratulated by many teachers since they know I'm from Florida. I could really care less (now if the Jaguars went to the Super Bowl...), but following the congratulations, I would be asked "Do you know Iwamura?" (Hint: He's the Japanese player for the Devil Rays.)

***

English book donation update:

The pile came close to 200 books. These books have been distributed to the 4 elementary schools in my village, so about 50 per school. At each of these schools, every librarian has asked me to go through them and ask me if I want any. As much as I crave an I Spy book or a Barney Storybook with sounds every now and then, I politely declined.

Class Canceled

September and October are busy months for elementary schools and lazy months for English teachers. Between kids practicing for Sport's Days and all the 3-weekend holidays, I find a lot of my classes canceled. Some of these cancellations are on my schedule, so I come to school knowing I won't be doing anything. But then there are times, like today, where I am told there is no class for the day as I'm walking to the room to set up.

I don't mind sudden cancellations. In fact, I like them. Who wouldn't want to be told, "Oh, you don't have to work today." But then you have teachers coming up to me saying things like, "Aw, that's too bad." and I nod my head in agreement and appear upset.

***

Got my voting ballot last week! I was briefly surprised this year as I was the first time I voted at how many candidates are actually listed for president. You expect to see only 2 choices, but there were at least 10. I felt a little bad about not knowing anything about them, but I didn't mind too much, as there is someone I actually want to vote for this time. Last election, I actually walked into the voting booth undecided. I think I ended up drawing a picture on the ballot of who I wanted to be president.

Pictures!

Finally got around to uploading more photos. For the past couple of months, when I would do a batch save in Photoshop, all my photos would appear washed out. I think I've fixed the problem, and I'm too lazy to go back and fixed the others. The washed out ones are a bit obvious I think.

Most of these are from the undoukai (Field Day) we had this weekend.

Money

The reason I chose to stay in Okinawa one more year is because of its low cost of living. I wanted to take a final year to settle my student loans, build up some savings, and open up an IRA.

A fellow JET who lives nearby use to work for the Federal Reserve. We had a conversation last year about investing that rather eerily foreshadowed the current Wall Street crisis. I can't quote, but he said something along the lines of, "I worked at the Fed long enough to learn that the system is flawed and people are pushing around imaginary money."

Now I am in a position to start investing and, if internet news is anything to go by, it seems the Apocalypse has come to Wall Street and opening up an IRA would be the last thing I would want to do. If I was actually in America, I'm sure I would have a better perspective of what's actually going on. I guess one way to look at it is it's the best time to invest because everything is low. But news sites keep referring to the possible bailout as the biggest since the Great Depression. If I remember my history, many banks closed because they tried to reclaim their loans, and I don't want to see that happen with me.

A bailout to me seems to be only postponing an inevitable (the idea of bailing out debt with debt doesn't make sense to me) fallout, so as someone who knows practically nothing on economics and banks, my question is: is it still safe to invest in an IRA? or are we headed towards anarchy where money is worthless and I'm better off investing in Okinawan goats to use as bartering in the future?

Book Drive

Today, a man and some military wives showed up at one of the elementary schools to donate books to the school library. They had filled a station wagon with boxes that came to over 200 children's books. I helped carry the boxes into an empty room where we spread everything out on several tables.

I think this would be a nice thing to do...in America. The problem with all these books is that they are in English and the only person who can read them is me. It would be like a group of Japanese people showing up at a school in America to donate over 200 books in Japanese. Also, some of the pop-up books were ripped, some of the sound-making books were broken, and some books had crayon colored in them. I was told the man running this book drive is very passionate about what he is doing, but I couldn't help feeling the school was just used as a dumping ground for military family's unwanted stuff.

I feel bad for the librarian who has to go through them all.

Funny Japanese Words

I had lunch with my 6th graders today, and one of the boys turned to me and says, "Kinky!", and then waited for my reaction. You see, Kinki is a southern-central region of Japan. It is the home of Kinki University and the hometown of the pop band Kinki Kids. (I'm not making this up.) This 6th grader had apparently heard on TV that foreigners find the word funny and he wanted to know what it meant. So I got to explain to everyone what I think of when someone says 'Kinki Kids'.

This was a big hit and it lead them to asking me for more Japanese words that sound funny in English. The only other one I could think of is the drink Calpis. This is a bottled drink with a taste I can't describe. Kinda like a milky-lemonade. Of course when you say it, it sounds like 'cow piss'. This also tickled their 6th-grader-funny-bone.

These two alone entertained them the entire lunch period, but can anyone think of any others?

The Middle Finger, and other Western Imports

I've been having a problem with some of my students flicking me off.

For example, one of the guys I play basketball with has two daughters, a 1st grader and a 3rd grader. The 1st grader ran up to me last night speaking fake English (think 'blah blah blah') and sticking up her ring finger. The 3rd grader, goes, "No no no, like this!", and shoots up her middle finger. The 1st grader then copied her.

I also get it at some of my schools. I'll be sitting at my desk and some kids will walk by, see me through the windows and shout out "Hey Cliff-sensei!" while flicking me off.

I think they understand the meaning of it in a basic sense and they do it to be funny cause they see it on TV. But what they don't understand is the unsaid words that go with the gesture.

***

Western symbols have also been imported void of any meaning. The ones I see the most are the cross, the marijuana leaf, and the Playboy bunny. Lots of girls wear cross necklaces because it's cute. Christians make up about 2.3% of the population in Japan, so I think it's safe to say they aren't wearing it to get closer to Jesus. This is also the country where people are married by unordained priests. People getting married just want a foreigner to stand at the alter with them to complete the 'image'. Apparently the 'priests' here get paid well, so I've considered doing it myself...  

The marijuana leaf symbol is everywhere: from flags, car air-fresheners, pencil cases, and clothes. One of my students has one such pencil case and it's not uncommon to see my students to wear marijuana t-shirts. This all came from Jamaican imports, of course. Again, I would say the majority of people have no idea what they are actually wearing.

And finally, the Playboy bunny, usually accompanied with the word PLAYBOY. No one knows what this is either. When I saw a 6th grader wearing a shirt, I told a teacher that if a student showed up with a shirt like that in America, she would be forced to change. He asked why and I told him what Playboy was. Not a clue... Also, junior high and high school girls have school uniforms with tall socks. They get to pick their own socks, and I would say half of them is the Playboy bunny.

But to be fair, we have zero knowledge of Asian cultures and tend to group everything as 'Chinese'. For example, my mom has a Japanese robe she's worn for over 20 years that she got from my grandpa when he visited. We found out from Yuka that the design was Shogi chess pieces.

***

This was printed on a kid's t-shirt (worn by my autistic kid, no less) that had a rub-ix cube on it and said:

"Is this object the human challenge to a brain?
What do six colors arranged for such aspect of a cube mean?
And what do we witness when these six colors gathered?
It will be assumed that I challenge this hexahedron with great wisdom."

English t-shirts are in style and no one cares what they mean. They provide entertainment to me when I read them, and they provide entertainment to the kids when they have me read them out loud. Speaking of which, nothing makes you feel more uncomfortable than a 5th grade girl asking you to read their shirt that says, "Juicy Girls". It's the name of the brand.

The City

Last Sunday, I returned home to Okinawa. I spent the past 3 weeks of my summer vacation in Fukuoka. During this time, I have done nothing interesting. I spent the majority of my days at a local cafe while Yuka was at work. But I guess being on vacation doesn't always have to be interesting as long as one is relaxing.

I saw The Dark Knight, Ponyo on the Cliff (the new Miyazaki movie), and Hana Yori Dango. The latter, let's just say, I had to go to...

I pulled an Olympian-feat in movie downloads. Yuka has fiber optic internet, and I downloaded a little over 100 movies. Since I have cancelled my internet in Okinawa, this should keep me entertained for awhile.

School starts on Monday, officially beginning my second year as a JET. Right now, I am still taking Japanese and Chinese lessons and I am still doing karate. I've started playing basketball with a group of people in Nago. I've dropped calligraphy because the teacher and students stopped showing up. Either class was cancelled and they didn't tell me, or they changed locations and didn't tell me.  Also, I'm also in charge of running the book club for the Okinawan JETs this year. 

I intend for this to be my last year in Okianwa. I think I'm doing enough now that will see this year go by as fast as my first year did.

The Conbini Factor

I believe it was in The Millionaire Next Door that the author discussed the Latte Factor. If one were to go to Starbucks every morning before work and spend $5, that comes out to $25 a week, $100 a month, and $1200 a year. The author urges the reader to discover their own 'Latte Factor' and drop it.

I've recently discovered mine, the Japanese convenience store, also known as a conbini. They exist practically on every corner, and since it is so hot, I find myself running into them often to buy some water. Taking out my trash last week, I discovered I had about 20-30 bottles that I had collected over the past week and a half. Time to stop.

--

I'm now spending 3 weeks of my summer break in Fukuoka. I'm looking forward to next week, because I'm going to go see The Dark Knight! It will be released in Japan on Saturday, and it will be the first time I have been to a movie theater in a year. Not that Japan doesn't have movie theaters, it's just that northern Okinawa doesn't. If you had told me 2 years ago there would be a time in my life where I would not go to the theaters for a year, I would not have believed you.

Also, today marks my one-year anniversary since arriving in Okinawa. Fastest year of my life. I attribute that to not being school. Time flies when you're having fun, and school sucks. Well, being a student, anyway.

Night Walking

"Cliff, let's go night walking."

So says the father of one of my 5th and 7th graders. It's Saturday night, around 7:00, and I'm at a party at a local community center on the beach attending a party for the local kids and parents. He's fanning the flames around a pit that's whole roasting a chicken and cracks open his first beer. 

"Now?" I ask.

"No, no. Later."

Japanese has random English phrases that pop up in conversation, such as, "See you!" and "Don't mind!". But I have to say, "night walking" is an awesome one.

The party was a big barbecue, with lots of chicken, beef, yakisoba, and beer. I spent most of the evening trying to make myself useful, but every time I asked if I could do something, I got turned down with the reply, "No, no, go play with the kids." I didn't want to play with the kids, but I think the real translation was "go speak English." So I spent most of my time skipping stones and eating. I wasn't drinking since I had to drive home, but the 'night-walking' dad kept urging me for at least an hour, saying they would find me a place to sleep. I gave in. 

Around 11, most of the kids were gone. I was sitting with the parents when one of the mom's started admonishing me. I didn't realize it at first, because she began by complaining about junior high English teachers, and how all they teach is writing and grammar, but not conversation. I boastfully reply that I don't even teach the alphabet in my classroom, but only work on conversation. "Then what were you doing speaking Japanese earlier?", she replies. And she begins listing various topics of conversation I had with the kids that evening. She was kind of right, because some of the things I could have said in English. But what she doesn't realize is most of the kids don't even like saying 'Hello' to me outside of class, and I think forcing it becomes an annoyance on the person. *speaking from experience*

I got up and wandered around some more. When I returned, there was only the 'night-walking' dad and I realized it was about midnight. I had completely forgotten about our night walk and I wanted to go to bed. But then he handed me a flash light, a cooler box, and a spear. He was carrying his own light, spear, and net. He looked at me and said, "Is 2 hours okay?". I had no idea what we were doing and two hours was not okay, but I said yes anyway. 

We were hunting octopus. 

Or that was the plan. We set out on the beach, using our flashlights to scan the shallow water for any dark shapes. The low tide revealed lots of rocks that I climbed over in order to check the cracks. This guy had drank way too much and was wading knee-deep in the water, falling over every 10 minutes. There was one point when we had reached the end of dry sand and he rounded a curve in the water on his own. I was just wearing socks and tennis shoes and refused to go in. Next thing I know, he's out of sight and I can't see his flash light. Thankfully he came back a few minutes later. We walked most of the perimeter of what is called Miyagi Island. It's not very big, but with all the rocks and the slow searching, I would say it did take about 2 hours.

And no octopus.

He was really disappointed. Apparently this was his first time going out and finding nothing, but it was a lot of fun. When we got back, he said I could stay at his place. Most northern Okinawans are poor and live in a 3-room apartment. It's the same size I have and is a perfect fit for me, but I can't imagine it working with a wife and 2 kids. In one of the rooms, there were two couches and a couple of futons on the floor. It was about 2 in the morning. His 7th grader was sleeping on one couch and he took the other. I crashed next to the 5th grader. 

The beauty of the futon is that a house does not require a bedroom. You can just lay it down on any floor in the house, and it's an instant bed. What I kept thinking about was how these kids don't have their own bedroom. They only sleep in the 'living room' at night. But there is a positive side. When I was a kid, I remember it taking me quite awhile to get up in the morning. Not in this house. At 7:30, less than 6 hours since our night walking, this guy is up and about. He gives one, "Wake up!", walks next to the 5th grader, grabs the futon, and sweeps it out from under him. No more bed.

Musical Chairs

I'm teaching summer school this week at an elementary school and I have to fill up 2 hours of time with about 10 kids. It would be easy if they were junior high kids, cause I'd give them a worksheet and be done with it. But since they can't read, I have to play more games than usual.

So I have put together a musical chairs CD, and I thought I would share the playlist:

Boyfriend - Alphabeat
God Only Knows - The Beach Boys
When I'm Sixty-Four - The Beatles
Viva la Vida - Coldplay
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses
Worried About Ray - The Hoosiers
Better Together - Jack Johnson
Is This Love - Bob Marley
Love Today - Mika
Life With You - The Proclaimers
Shine - Take That

Driving

Today, I passed my driving test.

I've been panicking a bit, because every time one fails, one has to wait at least 10 days to take it again. My first attempt was in the beginning of July, and I failed because when I backed up, I did not go through the proper motions: rear mirror check, right mirror check, full body turn, left mirror check, full body turn.

If I had failed today, I would have had only one more chance to pass before my international driver's license expired. To give you an idea of the chances of doing that, there was a guy today who failed today on his 4th attempt. He said he knew a guy who had taken it 9 times. However, he wasn't a JET, and JETs seem to have a quicker passing percentage rate. Not because we are better drivers, but because we are smart enough to actually go to driving school for a few hours.

The instructor seemed to be in a good mood today, because 6 out of the 10 people passed. 3 on their first try. I even bumped a plastic pole when doing a turn (which caused another JET to fail) and passed.

I will get my license on Monday, when I drive down to Naha (again) for a lecture. Why couldn't I have just gone to the lecture right after I passed the test? Why do I even have to go to the lecture when it's all in Japanese? No one knows. After Monday, I think I will have spent around $400 in the entire process. But this is nothing compared to the Japanese driving school almost all young people do. That runs around $2000-$3000. I enjoy telling my teachers I spent $10 on my Florida license.

Last Tuesday, I received my orange belt and have a level of 8-kyu. The levels go backward, from 10-kyu to 1-kyu. Once you attain black belt, the numbers go from 1-dan and up. My sensei is at 7-dan and is awesome.

I also found out last week I passed my kanji test for 4th graders. I plan to take the 6th grade test in February.

Racial Profiling

Last Friday, on my way to karate, I stopped by to pick up another teacher. We met in a little side parking lot next to a department store. He jumps in, and as I'm about to pull away, two guys wearing kariyushi (think aloha) shirts come up next to my window. Thinking they are Mormons or something, I tell them I'm in a hurry and start to pull away. Then they flash me their badges.

"We want to see your driver's license and registration."

In my mind, I'm already guilty and about to be deported. As I'm looking for my stuff, they tell me that my license number is suspicious, and they want to make sure the car is mine. I begin to wonder if I transferred the vehicle information under my name correctly, or if that the previous owner's boyfriend (who was Okinawan) might have been some kind of criminal. 

As they are going through my documents, they start up a casual conversation of "Where do you live?", "Oh, you're a teacher.", etc. I didn't have the dread of talking to these cops as I would talking to a cop in America. Probably only because in this situation I knew I wouldn't be paying a $120 ticket. 

To give a quick summary of Japanese license plates, plates here have a Japanese character on them, such as a ま or a た, followed by a few numbers. Since there is a military presence here, military plates have a roman Y on them instead. (The running gag being "Y are you here?")

After writing down everything they wanted, they say they were suspicious of the car because if has a Japanese license plate and I'm not Japanese. They were just making sure the car belonged to me.

Where's Jesse Jackson when I need him?

Spiders

Okinawa has big brown spiders. I think we have them in Florida too, but in all my time in Florida, I think I have only come across 1 or 2. Since I've been in Okinawa, I've had 3 or 4 in my apartment, and have come across a lot more in various other places. The first time I had one in my apartment, I freaked, and chased it with the vacuum cleaner (they're fast!). Now, they don't bother me as much. I heard they eat cockroaches, so the last one I had in my apartment, I trapped and let it outside. 

Here's a blog entry from Zamami Dave, however, that describes a situation that would not be cool with me. Ever.

Have you ever heard the urban myth that you swallow three spiders during your sleep each year? Well, just in case it’s true, rest assured that I took care of your quota last night. I noticed this spider in my big tatami room and was curious about that big ‘plate’ she was clutching beneath her.

It didn’t take much time to determine that plate had been holding her thousands of babies, which were now crawling all over my apartment. They were everywhere, but also small enough that I wasn’t too concerned with swallowing them.

Adult English Class

I had my second adult English class tonight. It's an hour a week, and I don't get paid. I was asked by my vice-principal at one of the schools, and felt it would have been rude to say no.

"Hey, Cliff! Would you like to teach some of the teachers English?"
"No, not really."

I am going to try to get vacation hours out of it. 8 weeks would equal 1 day off work, or something like that. It turns out, though, that this class is really easy and fun. Right now, I'm also doing an extra kid's class that I AM getting paid for, and I'm coming to dislike it. I'm trying to teach them to read in between me saying, "Kaname, don't hit your brother.", "Kaname, stop climbing on my back.", and "Kaname, stop drawing pictures of poo on your English folder."

In my now-almost-one-year since I've come to Japan, I've discovered that I don't like teaching kids under 3rd grade. It seems that 3rd grade is the magic year that they begin to calm down. So it makes perfect since that my adult class is just awesome. Last week, the first class flew by, doing only half of the things I had planned.

The class consists of 3 teachers and 1 assistant teacher. In 2-3 years, Japan is making English a mandatory lesson for 5th and 6th grade, so these teachers are looking to brush up on their skills. I don't expect my class to turn them into great speakers as I highly doubt they will study on their own. To them, it's just a fun hour. But as long as it's fun for me too, I don't mind.

Random Things #2

Just a few more random bits:

Took the 4th grader kanji test (Kanji Kentei 7 kyu) on Friday. That comes to 640 kanji. Not really that great of a feat when you consider that I'm not even a third of the way finished, and that I probably didn't pass the test. Passing is 70%, and I think it is going to be border line. I'll find out in a few weeks.

Have another karate test at the end of the month. I'm going for my orange belt. Have to perform a few basic kicks and punches, plus three kata. I was freaked out about the last one in January, but I already feel ready for this one. 

Last week, a third grader wanted me to sit next to him at lunch. The kids did rock, paper, scissors to decide where I would sit, and he lost. He made a big fuss about it and sulked all during lunch. Apparently when his mom came to pick him up, they came to the teacher's room to apologize to me about it, but I had already left. So they drove to my apartment to apologize, but I wasn't there either cause I had karate.

Also last week, I had a second grader run up to me wanting to be picked up. He's in mid-run, when he's intercepted by his teacher and given a severe scolding. I give a 'what did he do?'-look, and the teacher angrily begins to repeat, 'His eyebrows! His eyebrows!', while lifting his head up and shoving his bangs out of the way. The kid had shaven off his eyebrows. I'm assuming that as punishment, he wasn't allowed to play.

And finally, the new Coldplay album is awesome.

Random Things #1

This update is the first of two that will go through a couple of things happening to me right now.

I finally made it to the dentist about two weeks ago. I should have gone in December, and before I knew it, it was June. The results came back and...I'm a failure at life. I was told I had a cavity. She said it was small and I had the option of leaving it alone and taking care of it, or getting it drilled. I went for the drill. Why? Because I was the type of kid in elementary school that secretly wanted to break their arm. Whenever a kid showed up to class with a cast, it was cool. It:s not that I think having a filling will be cool, but I kind of wanted to have the life experience of having a cavity drilled out. So I went back last week, they gave me a shot, and then they drilled. I didn't feel a thing. Instead of a silver filling, they gave me a white one. My tooth looks perfect, so technically I can still say I have no cavities.

I began the process of getting my driver's license this week. Getting a Japanese license is one long bureaucratic process. I drove down to Naha on Tuesday to fill out the application to take a written test. Then I drove down to Naha yesterday to take the written test. I will next drive down to Naha in a month to take the practical test, and if I pass, I will drive down to Naha again to pick up my license. It seems to take the average JET three attempts to pass the practical. When all this is done, I'm looking at about 6 Naha trips. This wouldn't be so bad if driving down to Naha didn't take me 2.5 hours. And no, you cannot do all this in one day. That would be too practical. 

While I was in Naha, I decided to apply for yet another passport. Passports and I don't get along. I got my first one when I was 17 and lost it after I came back from France (only to be discovered after graduating from college). I applied for another one about 2 years ago to go to London. However, I filled out the form with the name Cliff instead of Clifton. I guess the people don't check the passport name with that birth certificate you are required to send in. I didn't think this was a problem, though, until I needed a visa to come to Japan. The name on your visa has to match the name on your birth certificate, which has to match the name on your passport. So I applied for a third one last March with my correct name. It took 4 months to get. I had to overnight it in mid-July to the consulate in Miami in order to process my visa in time. What was wrong with this third passport? Because it was my third one, it made them suspicious, so they declared it a limited passport. Only good for one year. Back to the present, this confused the people at the consulate in Okinawa, so they are requesting my original birth certificate instead of going through the normal process of accepting a previous passport. Four passports in less than 10 years. Three in the past three years. I'm getting a passport a year and I'm being charged $100 each time.

*growl* Angry Criff hates all governments.

Rules of the AC (or my Hot Manifesto)

A response to my Cold Manifesto. The temperature is currently around the 90 F range and humid. It's no different from Florida, but in Florida, we like are ACs and overhead fans. Japanese buildings lack overhead fans and use single air conditioner units to cool rooms. The fans people do use are the little ones that swing back and forth blowing one side of your body every few seconds.

So this past week, I have sat in the teacher's room sweating. The AC has not been turned on and there are no fans. But it's not that Japanese people have special bodies that resist heat. Every teacher at every school keeps commenting on how hot it is. So, why don't they turn on the AC?

Because they haven't gotten the official memo from the Board of Education.

Probably for budget reasons, all the schools are suppose to turn on the AC at the same time at the start of summer and turn it off at the same time at the end. My inside source informs me that the schools will get the notice at the beginning of next week, although one school on Wednesday 'secretly' went ahead and switched it on in the afternoon anyway.

Another reason ACs are seldom used is to save energy. For example, this summer, the Japanese Prime Minister will give up wearing ties to work. This is an energy saving plan known as 'Cool Biz', where government workers will wear light clothing so that ACs can be kept at a high temperature. Can you imagine that going well in DC?

I've also been told that the AC is bad for your health and how it's good for your body to sweat and to adapt to different temperatures on it's own. This is why in elementary schools, only the teacher's room has AC, in order to make the kids strong. The problem is that the schools have yet to do this, and I don't care about being strong. I just don't want to sweat.

So how did people survive in times without AC? They didn't build buildings that didn't allow air circulation. Outside right now, it feels great. Yes it's humid, but it's also breezy. The teachers office is one big room that everybody sits in, and even with the windows open, not much air gets in. I sweat inside, but not outside. My opinion is, if Japan is going to build buildings of Western design, they have to give it 100% and include the AC (and turn it on), or at very least, an overhead fan.

For an interesting article on Japanese architecture and the lack of insulation, read Ask an Architect: Insulation.

Update: As I type this, it's 8:40 am, I have a mini-towel around my neck and I am waving a fan I found in my desk. I just had this conversation with my vice-principal:

VP: Does it get humid in Florida?
Me: Yes, but we turn on the AC...

30 seconds later, they closed the windows and turned it on! Happy Friday to me!

New Tires

Lately, my steering wheel has been vibrating as I drive. I've been waiting till payday to take it in and get it checked out along with an oil change. So after my classes today, I took my van next door to the local gas station where I can get anything done. I told them I wanted my tank filled up, an oil change, and to fix whatever was causing my wheel to shake.

The lone woman there is also the mother of two of my students, so we have become somewhat friends, as I see her almost every time I have my tank filled up. She looks at my front tires and says I need new ones. I knew my tires were a little smooth, but I didn't really pay much attention to them. They were not only smooth, but also had little rips in the rubber. She said that's what is causing the van to shake. (You were right Elina!)

I then said I wanted two tires, a full tank, and an oil change. She insists that I should do the oil change next month, otherwise it will be really expensive.

Let me repeat that: a MECHANIC told me I should NOT get something done to my car, cause it will cost too much money.

I don't think this is abnormal behavior either. A month ago, Yuka got a new cell phone. She wanted this really small slim phone, but she went with a slighter thicker one with a TV (the one I would have gotten). Why? Because the store clerk told her that the phone she wanted had been having some problems with, plus it just wasn't that good. The phone she ended up getting was cheaper than the one she wanted, too.

I got the new tires sans oil change, and all I can say is, the Wonder Van drives like a new vehicle. And if you've seen what my van looks like, you know that's saying a lot.

***

During lunch, a 2nd grader asked me whose side I would choose if America and Japan went to war. Then the whole class started chanting "Ja-pan! Ja-pan!". Instead of saying "America, and you will be the first one I kill", I said, "Japan" to get them to shut up. This was followed by a loud, "Yay!"

I'm Cool in Japan

Japan treats foreigners as exotic gifts. When you first meet someone, they marvel at your white-ness and are in awe over your speaking and chopstick abilities. Then as you get to know them, they like to bring you to parties to show you off like an expensive tequila. Because I am not fluent, it's hard to determine if I'll ever have my whiteness over-looked. Only time will tell, but I do know one thing: I'm a freakin' rock star to my elementary school students.

Today after lunch, I went into the gym to play kick ball with a group of kids. I was up to kick, and the ball goes soarin into the air and gets stuck in the gym ceiling supports. I don't know what the height of the ceiling is, but it's no different from gyms back in America, so you can imagine it was tall enough that I would need about 5 ladders stacked on top of each other to even begin to reach it. When the ball got stuck, the whole group of kids let out a big sigh of, "Awww!" (Some phrases are just universal.) So I grab a mini basketball and begin launching the ball trying to un-lodge it.

The kids are totally into it. Every throw gets a gasp out of the crowd, and I start to get nervous at the thought of failure. A couple of times, the basketball hits a dangling light, which caused it to shake, freaking everyone out including myself. I began to sweat, my arm started to hurt, and my throws were getting weaker. I let out a few choice words that would have gotten me fired in an American elementary school, but these kids don't understand it anyway.

Just as the group's interest, including my own, begins to wander, I give a final hurl, and the ball hits the other ball perfectly, causing both balls to fall back to the ground. I surprised myself and give a whoop of success. And when everyone realizes that I had done it, they all rush me, cheering for me like a man who had made a come back win in a sports game. I could almost hear the Rudy soundtrack in the background. I was on top of the world. It's the little things, right?

***

Went to Iriomote two weeks ago with Yuka and about 10 other JETs. Will post pictures soon.

Summer Movies

It's Friday, and Iron Man is being released in the States. For the past three movie seasons (fall, winter, spring), I have lived easily with having the closest movie theater being a 2 hour drive away. (Not including the one on the American base which I don't have a pass to get on to.) Not only is the closest movie theater far away, but by the time an American movie is released here, it's already out on DVD back home. This hasn't bothered me because all the movies I have wanted to see weren't movie-theater-movies. I haven't minded waiting 6 months for a DVD rip to become available on the internet, and then spending about 4 days downloading it. Yes, my internet speed crawls at a dial-up rate of 6 kbps.

But now it's summer, and I didn't expect to find myself wanting to see the big action movies in theaters. I loved Iron Man as a kid and the reviews for this film are going great. I don't want to wait six months for a DVD rip and then watch it on my 13 inch TV. I want to see it today! This is the kind of film you drive 2 hours and spend $15 to see. (Japanese movie tickets are expensive.)

And now that I'm looking ahead, I also want to make the drive to go see Indiana Jones, Batman, and Hellboy.

But...I can't. At least not for Iron Man. Japan usually releases the big movies at the same time as America, but Iron Man isn't coming out till September. I want to get stuffed on mexican food and margaritas, and then head up the road to AMC tonight!

Sylvia Plath and Fat Kid in 1st Grade

Remember my Sylvia Plath kindergarten student? She's the one that would sit in the back of the room and cry during my English lessons. Well, she's a 1st grader this semester, and I had hoped for an instant maturation during the transition to elementary school. Sadly, not yet. I had my first full class with 1st and 2nd graders today. Some of the 1st graders I did not have in kindergarten, so they have had absolutely no English experience. We were playing a variation of Duck, Duck, Goose changed to Hello, Hello, Goodbye, when she got picked. When she realized she had to get up and chase the other kid, she just put her head down, slumped her shoulders, and cried. I think someone needs to give 110%.

Thankfully, she'll out grow this...one day. I have this other fat kid whom I had in kindergarten and is now in the same class. His problem is simple: he's the fat kid. The kind of fat kid who would unearth a swing set. The kind of fat kid who you can't play see-saw with. After seeing his mother, I would bet money that he will ALWAYS be the fat kid.

Well, last week, I had a 15 minute class with my 1st and 2nd graders, and we just made name cards. Somehow, during this short 15 minute window, he craps his pants. Either he wasn't aware he did it or he was trying to hide that he did it to make a clean getaway later. The teacher immediately knew what happened and took him away to change. How did she know? Let's just say, it was completely OBVIOUS that he was crapping his pants as it happened.

It's always the fat kid, right?

Another Kid Down

If my goal in Japan was to cause pain to as many children as possible, then I would be succeeding. After my latest incident, I wouldn't doubt if I was flagged for deportation. 

During my 3rd/4th grade class, we were doing a kind of running game. My classroom is a slick hardwood floor and they were wearing socks. One of the 4th graders attempts a turn and falls down. I've seen more kids fall down than I can count, so I wasn't alarmed...until the teacher went over to his side and stayed there while I continued my game. I believe I have written enough about how if a kid gets hurt, the teachers and students practically ignore him or her to let them such it up on their own. With the teacher by his side, I could sense that this was serious. He could sit up, but he couldn't move his leg. He wasn't crying, but he would wince at the slightest poke of his knee.

This happened at the beginning of class, so I had to continue teaching a distracted bunch of already rambunctious kids. Through the course of my class, the school nurse came in, then another teacher, and then the vice principal. When class had finally finished, an ambulance showed up. Paramedics came in with the whole stretcher set up and took him away.

I'm sure I would have felt worse had I been the one to fall on him and caused this to happen. But I still feel down-right horrible.  Later that afternoon, we got a call from the hospital saying he had sprained his knee. I think my class should come with a warning label.

Shots and Tibet

Me and two other JETs have been planning a China/Tibet trip for August for a couple of months now. And just our luck, it's looking like it may not be the smartest of ideas anymore. It seems protests are extending out of Tibet into western China (which was our back-up plan), and I definitely don't want to be around eastern part during the Olympics. I assume it will be way too expensive.

But in order to prepare for this awesome trip that I'm no longer going on, I went and got my tetanus shot last week. According to the US Center for Disease Control and Prevention, America recommends you get shots for tetanus, Hepatitis A and B, Typhoid, Rabies, and Japanese encephalitis. And don't forget the malaria pills.

When I handed my shot record to the doctor, he stares at it and says, "Why do you need a tetanus shot? You've had six of them." I point out that the first four were when I was under a year old, and the other two were at 5 years old and 13 years old. Therefore, I need another one because I'm suppose to get one every 10 years. I guess Japan doesn't do that, cause he gave me a look and said, "Well, I can give it to you if you want it." Well, of course I didn't want it, I only felt like I needed it. So I told him I'm going to China for hiking and camping, and he says, "Ok, then it's probably a good idea."

I then ask him about the other shots that America recommends, and he, of course, told me I don't need them, but I can get them if I want to. He just said don't eat raw food and avoid the water. In short, play it smart and I'll be fine. I don't know how much the vaccines would cost me here, but if I was in America, and I planned to go to China and get all my vaccines, the bill would run me $480 (if I was a student at UPenn. It was the only list I could find.)

So I think I would choose to just play it smart, but since I'm not going anymore, it doesn't matter. The trip is on hold for next August.

Big Tuna!

When I was doing some shopping at Jusco, I saw a huge crowd over by the fish section. Naturally, I walk over to see what was going on. Because I'm tall (and in Japan), I could I easily could see what was drawing everyone's attention: a man had just wheeled out a whole tuna. These fish are big! He then proceeded to cut him up right there in front of everybody, starting by removing the head. At this point, kids started crying. But I, like the majority of everyone else there, was fascinated as he took his knife and cut up the belly, splitting the tuna in half. He then went to work cutting the meat into size-able, take-home portions. I wasn't planning on buying any raw tuna, but how often can you buy it as you watch the guy cut it up right in front of you? When I got home, it tasted heavenly.

I took this picture with my cell phone, so forgive the quality.

Also, in other oddities, check out the eyes on this cat from Zamami!

Gangsters

Last Saturday, I was on my way downtown to meet some people for dinner. I wanted to make a right turn at a traffic light, but the turn lane was easily backed up 10-15 cars. I could see fireworks going off in the distance and a musical horn blaring randomly. As the minutes went by, and I slowly inched closer, I could see a huge group of what looked like college students just hanging around...in the street and the neighboring convenience store parking lot. I also saw one guy on a unicycle. 

I made up my mind that if they were in my way at my turn signal, I would drive at high speed while yelling out English obscenities. Lucky for them, and unfortunate for my anger outlet, the police showed up and they ran away. I told Yuka about this later, and she said they were probably a gang and it's good I didn't draw their attention to me. To me, a gang is something to fear. I just watched Ghosts of Cite Soleil, about two gang leaders in Haiti. THEY were scary. Not these clowns goofing off and holding up traffic.

Goodbye Parties

Last Thursday, I invited myself to a 'good-bye'/'happy retirement' party. These parties are thrown by all the schools at the end of the year to formally send off transferring or retiring teachers. In reality, it is just one (of many) excuses to go out. Since I only show my face at each school once a week, I am sometimes forgotten. I guess being tall only makes a large impression on the eye, not the mind.

The fact that three teachers were leaving was overshadowed by a 6th grade teacher retiring. This guy is awesome. He's 60 and looks like he's in his late 40's. He enjoys body building, and talking about body building, while flexing his muscles for the lady teachers (especially the single ones). He thinks Home on the Range is the Great American Folk Song. He also told me that when he was younger, he would go on runs and children would run with him. I think someone's been watching a little too much Rocky.

To celebrate his retirement, we all jumped on a bus at 8 am and visited every school he ever taught at. A large banner was made, saying something like, 'Happy Retirement', so when we arrived at a school, everyone would jump out and take a group picture. We visited about 10 schools, with the best one being on Minna Island, which is about a 20 minute ferry ride. The island is small enough to walk around it leisurely in a couple of hours.The only sound to be heard on the island was the wind and birds. The retiring teacher said when he taught here 30 years ago, there were only 17 students. Now there are only 4. He also said that he had no electricity and water, that they used oil lamps and would collect rain. Hardcore.

Our last stop was a resort hotel in Onna. Biggest hotel I've ever stayed in. There were four guys, and we all had one room...and our own bed, with two showers. The day excursion including lunch, dinner, ferry ticket, karaoke, and hotel put me back only $50. I don't know where the rest of the money came from, but someone is being nice.

Graduation

Two weeks ago was graduation for my kindergarten and four elementary schools. Kindergarten really isn't a graduation ceremony as it is a 'completion' ceremony. I was corrected when I called it graduation, so I figured it wouldn't be that formal and I show up last Wednesday in my normal school attire: track pants and a t-shirt. As if I don't stick out enough. All the parents are in full formal wear...as are the kindergartners. I didn't even know they made suits that size.

The Elementary school graduations followed on Friday, all at the same time. At first I was a little annoyed that I wouldn't be able to attend each one, but this is a blessing in disguise. Graduations are boring. It was 2 hours of speeches by old people. So I would make my appearance at one, then run out again after being there for 30 minutes.

I arrived at my favorite 6th grade class last. Near the end, as the kids were saying their good-byes to the teachers, and songs were sung by the younger kids to the 6th graders, about half of them started to cry. Who cries at an elementary school graduation? I did find myself feeling sad though, cause I realized I wasn't going to be teaching these kids ever again. I didn't cry though. Real men don't cry.

Whale Watching

I spent this past weekend on Zamami, a small island south-west of Okinawa. Zamami has a total area of about 17 km, and consists of three small villages totaling 1,500 people. Dave is the lucky man who gets to have this mini-paradise all to himself. He even has a couple of nearby islands with schools on them that he kayaks to! Zamami makes it's money through tourism, and that's why we came: whale watching!

We were told we had a lucky day. We found a mommy and a baby swimming around and saw them breach a few times. The rest of the time was keeping a close distance on them, marveling as they would come up for air and sometimes give a flipper or tail flip.

To get to Zamami, we took a big ferry. To go after the whales, we took a smaller boat. I learned about half way through that my body doesn't like the ups and downs.

We stayed the night and did a walking tour of the island the next day. We hiked up to some excellent observation points overlooking Zamami and other local islands. Half way through, it started pouring, and we were lucky enough to spend the next hour walking back in the rain.

Kabuki

Yuka came again this weekend and we spent the entire time in Naha, Okinawa's capital. On Saturday, we went to see our first Kabuki play. The audience consisted mostly of old people and one huge group of US military wives. It lasted for about 2 hours, with the first hour being a humorous introduction to kabuki, and the second half being the actual production. From what I could get from it, the story was about a woman who was really a fox, marries a man, they have a kid, and then she has to run away for some reason. I couldn't really ask Yuka what was going on because 1) she slept through half of it, and 2) Kabuki dialogue is like trying to follow Sylvester Stallone perform Shakespeare.

The coolest part were the costumes and special effects. A lot of the effects had men dressed all in black (to "hide" themselves on stage) move set pieces, or, for example, when the fox lady returned to the forest, they would carry candles to give the image of the candles floating by themselves. You have to suspend belief and pretend you don't see them.

For an excellent example of this, I highly recommend watching the Matrix Ping Pong video.

Afterwards, we went to Itoman, south of Naha, to the Okinawa Peace Memorial Park. Walked around, took pictures, and ate ice cream...like any good tourist visiting a park that is a memorial to the 200,000 people that died in the Battle of Okinawa. On the way back to Naha, we found an awesome second-hand video game shop. I bought a Super Famicon, Chrono Trigger, and Street Fighter 2 for $40.

A break-down of old school Nintendo systems and their Japanese names.

Nintendo = Famicon (short for Family Computer)
Super Nintendo = Super Famicon
Nintendo 64 = Nintendo

Then we went out and had awesome yakiniku!

Lawson's!

I'm going to Iriomote next month with Yuka and some other JETs! This time, I bought my plane ticket at the local Lawson. Japanese convenience stores are the coolest places ever. They look identical to American one's, but the difference is that the food is safe to eat and you can pay your bills.

Most of my bills are withdrawn automatically. But for the ones that aren't, I get a paper bill with a barcode that I take to Lawson's and pay there. Since I don't have a credit card, when I bought my plane ticket online, they gave me an ID# that I used at Lawson's to buy my plane ticket! I also pay for my Amazon.co.jp orders there too! Cool!

A Closer Look

This is an honest look at what I do everyday:

I am an English teacher at all the elementary schools in Ogimi. Even though I work every day, I only appear at each school once a week. In elementary school, English class is a break from the normal routine, and most of the kids view it as play time. I think it's fair to say that I am just an extra curricular teacher. So when "real" school stuff needs to take place, I'll have canceled classes for the day. Like on Wednesday. Grades 1-6 were taking some test, so I did not do anything. And it's this "not doing anything" that best summarizes my job.

When I first got my welcome DVD from Okinawa, I was expecting the camera to follow JETs into the classroom and provide a glimpse of what was expected for me as a teacher. I had never done any kind of teaching before before and I had no idea how to approach the job. Instead, it was over 2 hours of following different JETs to parties, some culture lessons, nice vacation spots, etc. I remember commenting "Looks like JETs don't teach". Looking back, that DVD was almost spot on.

My contract requires me to show up at school from 8:15-4:00 every day, regardless if I teach a lesson or not. Out of that almost 8 hours, I teach about 3 classes a day, each 45 minutes. So, about 2 hours and 15 minutes of my 8 hour day is working. And I would say half of that 2 hours is fending little kid's fingers away from my private places.

What am I doing for the rest of the time? Nothing. But I'm pretty good at not doing nothing. I enjoy spending most of my time in the break room, which is a tatami room with table for coffee and snacks. If you were to show up at my school, you would most likely find me there either studying Japanese, reading a book, or asleep.

Yes, I sleep on the job. But I didn't start it! I got the idea when I saw another teacher asleep at her desk. Then I saw a teacher asleep on the floor in the snack room. I even once went to the town hall and my superintendent was asleep in his chair. So I guess it's okay. Nothing beats a power nap, anyway.

JET has a motto of "every situation is different", which is true. I know people who work at only one high school and work 10 hour days. To those people, I say, I take my 2 hours of work very seriously.

So why do people quit JET? If it pays so much for so little work, who would want to leave? I think half of them are people who just want to go home. They get tired of not being able to read the signs and not communicating well with people at school. I think the other half are people tired of doing nothing. JET is a great 'figuring-out-what-to-do-with-your-life' job. There is, after all, plenty of time to think about it. And it seems to take people a year, or two, or three, to figure it out. These people are tired of being a human tape recorder and want their own classroom. That kind of thing.

Next week is my last kindergarten class for the school year (school years go from April-March in Japan). This is awesome because I won't have a kindergarten class for 5 weeks. That means I get a 3-day week for 5 weeks!

English Mistake

On Saturday, a Japanese airline started down a runway at the same time another plane was landing. Apparently, the misunderstanding was an English error on the pilot's part, and it went something like this:

Traffic Controller: Flight 502, expect immediate take-off.
*pilot thinks they say 'IMMEDIATELY TAKE-OFF'*
Pilot: Roger!
*pilot proceeds down runway*
Everyone in the traffic control room: Huh?! STOP STOP STOP!!!
*crash prevented*

I had a similar situation happen to me last week. I was exchanging some used books at the book store. The clerk has an inventory sheet with the books I turned in and says, "blah blah sign here blah blah". I take my pen and sign the sheet where his finger was pointing. He looks at me with a look that says, "What are you doing?" He then repeats, and this time I hear, "blah blah instead of signing here blah blah".

And that's why I don't fly planes.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day in Japan is the exact opposite of what it is in America. First, Japan is not a country to put their women on a pedestal. Men and women have an equal playing field. If a guy likes a girl, he'll ask her on a date. If a girl likes a guy, she'll ask him on a date. So it's no surprise that on Valentine's Day, the women give chocolate to the men. There are the "obligation chocolates", which are given to co-workers, and the "favorite" chocolates, which are given to your sweet-heart.

The women are aware of the difference, too. I had every female teacher at school today ask me to explain the difference between the holidays. They had that look in their eye that little children have when they shout, "Read me this story again!" (But I've already read it to you 20 times...) After each explanation, each teacher would then sigh and say, "Americans are real gentlemen." And yes, I guess that excludes all other countries. ONLY AMERICANS. Sorry guys.

So what did I get for Valentine's Day? Today at school, I had a few 5th and 6th graders run in and give me some gift bags. Also, this weekend Yuka visited, and she took me out to an awesome steak dinner.

Next month, there is White Day, which would be the "real" Valentine's Day equivalent. I will be expected to return chocolates to all the people who gave some to me today. I guess guys are not completely off the hook.

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In other news, why is Japan better than America right now? Because the Wii version of Super Smash Bros. has been out since the end of January. So to the people waiting for the mid-March release date...haha (and it's awesome).

One More Year

Lots of exciting stuff has happened over the past two weeks (well, for me anyway). First, I passed my JLPT! I scored 85% in grammar and writing, and an expected 35% in listening. Now if I could have my teachers provide me with a typed transcript of all future conversations, communication would go a lot smoother.

I have also received my blue belt in karate. Chuck Norris, here I come.

I often find myself speaking before thinking. When I found out JET was going to send me to Okinawa, there was no way I was joining the JET program. Yet, here I am. When I found out I was not getting my transfer to Fukuoka, there was no way I was going to stay another year. Yet, after another Yuka visit this weekend, we've decided it's best to do one more year. The conditions being I have to pay off my student loan and arrive in Fukuoka debt free.

My student loan debt is not large compared to some of the people here. One girl is rumored to be in the $90,000+ range. But the option of leaving in one year with no debt, versus leaving now with debt, is more appealing. In Fukuoka, my rent would be more with my salary being less.

So, one more year of blue skies and white beaches, before moving on to the concrete jungle. *sigh* I'll find a way to get through it.

Transfer = No

Today I received my transfer request decision. I was told by my vice-principal that Tacchi wanted to see me. So I head over to the town hall and I'm ushered into the superintendent's office. Tacchi and the superintendent are standing there with their head's lowered and they say, "Cliff, I'm sorry..." I thought someone had died. Ends up I got the big NO to Fukuoka. No reason was given, only the No box was checked instead of the Yes one.

I have a kindergarten job setup for Apr. '09, so not all is lost. But I do need a job from Aug '08 until then. There is a company that gives 6-month contracts to teach at the university level. So I may do that from Aug-Dec in a place no where near Fukuoka.

Then from Jan-March, I may move to Fukuoka and work on an organic farm. The program is with wwoof, and I would receive only board and food. I'm gonna make exploitation of foreign workers look cool.

Anything could happen, though. I could get that call from the Coen Brothers, saying they saw my robot music video and want to work with me.

I had my first karate test on Saturday. Showed up with everything but my money and gi. Classy. But I was able to borrow money from Vaughn and Taira sensei loaned me his jacket. Too bad his skills didn't rub off. I'm almost positive I passed, since I'm only a white belt. It would be sad, if next Friday, Taira sense said, "Everyone, even this cute little 6 year old, passed...except Cliff. Sorry."

Next week is my Kanji test with the 3rd graders! I'm not quite ready, but I think I will be by next week.

Violation

Japanese children are infamous for a game called kancho. The game is simple: you sneak up behind your victim with both hands formed as if you are having a make-believe gun fight, and you ram your index fingers up the person's butt. A Japanese enema, if you will. Honestly, it's hilarious...until it happens to you.

I'm on my 6th month here, and it has happened to me numerous times. I found the best way to react is not to react at all. So far, this tactic has worked well, I just swipe their hand away and they quit.

Until today.

2nd period. 8 1st graders. They see me once a month, and I could hear them as they ran to my room. They get to the door, shout, "Cliff sensei!", and rush me. This is the standard greeting. However, instead of giving a my a high five, or whatever, and leaving, they all surround me, jumping up and down to get my attention. I thought it would be funny if I play fall over, so I land on my back. They're crawling over me like ants. This is where I make my mistake: I roll over onto my stomach.

Time stops.

I can almost hear the neurons in their brains firing in excitement. My heart begins to sink as I realize what I have done. All at once, 16 hands with 80 fingers begin to kancho me like I've never been kanchoed before. Keep in mind, I wear only a t-shirt and track pants to work. I freak, and try to wrestle them off. So much for not reacting, this is more of an reaction then they had hoped for. But it's difficult to get up when you have kids sitting on your arms, legs, back, and head.

I finally get up and slap them away as they chase me. But they're not done. Next thing I know, my pants are around my ankles. I got pantsed by a first grader, in front of all the first graders. I wanted to throw the kid out of the class by his neck. They probably thought they looked cute rolling on the floor laughing. Thankfully, the other teacher wasn't there yet.

That incident behind us, we started class. The kid who pantsed me is actually a really cute kid. I think he's in the running for being My #1 Fan. But today, when we were sitting in a circle, he starts bawling. I have no idea why, but through my little experience, I just ignored him and kept the class going. He ends up leaving and not coming back. I found out from the teacher that every class, it's always him that sits right next to me. Today, some girl decided she was going to sit next to me instead, and moved him out of the way. Accepting defeat, he cries and leaves. Good to know I'm popular among the 1st graders.

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Had another fire drill today at a different school. I got to shoot the fire extinguisher at a target that popped a balloon. It was cool.

Tests and Results

The next few weeks will consist of taking tests and receiving results.

Tests:
Karate - I have been been a 'white belt' since August. My first 'level-up' test (don't know what it's called) is Jan. 26th. I have to perform two kata and some basic kicks and punches.

I am nervous about the test because the kata are difficult to memorize. But because of the test, I had to purchase my own Karate gi! Now I have a slick outfit with a patch that says, "SHUREIDO - Made in Japan, Okinawa, The World Famous Brand From The Birthplace Of Karate".

For those who might be interested, the style of Karate I am learning is called Shuri Shorin.

Kanji Kentei - A Kanji test with the easiest level beginning at 10 and the hardest at 1. The test is designed for native speakers, but foreigners can take it, too. Level 10 represents the kanji learned by first graders up to Level 5, which is the kanji learned by 6th graders. Native speakers have difficulty in the Level 2 range and you have to be part-genius to pass Level 1.

I will be taking Level 8 with the 3rd graders on Feb. 8. If I pass, I think I get a certificate and bragging rights to the 1st and 2nd graders. Actually, I'll be taking the test with some of my 6th graders, who still don't know all the kanji they should.

Results:
JLPT - Took 3-kyu back in December. Because I bombed the listening, I'm not sure if I'll pass or not. Should find out in February.

Transfer Notice - What I am the most impatient about. I have requested to transfer out of Okinawa to Fukuoka. I applied back in November and will hear the results by the end of the month. I am not expecting to get the transfer, because the percentage rate of an out-of-prefecture transfer is very low. But one can dream, right?

If I don't get the transfer, I will not be re-contracting with JET and will have to search for another job come August.

Organic farming, anyone?

Back at Work

I left for Tokyo on Dec. 20 and returned to Okinawa on Jan. 6th. Total travel time: 18 days. The time went by at a normal pace and I never really felt like I was traveling. Probably because I was in Tokyo and Fukuoka each for a full week.

My mom and sister arrived on the 24th. Not much happened on that day. I did laundry. Christmas Day was hectic. They had one day in Tokyo and I was determined to show them as much as possible. Bad idea. We made a complete loop on Tokyo's main train line, hitting almost every stop. Try to imagine walking to a train station and going up and down stairs with about a thousand other people. You jump on the train, ride it for 3 minutes, jump off, and climb up and down stairs to get out of the station. Go see the attraction at that train exit, go back to the station, do it again. By the end of the day, my mom and sister were half dead. So the rest of the trip (1 week) became a recovery session.

After Tokyo, we headed to Kawaguchiko, which has a beautiful view of Mt. Fuji. When I was taking pictures, they came out like all the other pictures of Mt. Fuji. This was disappointing because words can not explain how awesome this mountain is. At around 10,000 feet, it just devours the horizon. Best part of the trip.

Next came Nagoya, which acted as a half way point between Fuji and Kyoto. It has a mediocre reconstructed castle. Nagoya also is famous for miso katsu. It was yummy.

Then we went to Kyoto for two days. The first day, I left my mom and sister to see friends in Osaka. Then the next day was a Tokyo-lite touring of Kyoto. Kiyomizudera is alright, but Kinkakuji is amazing!

The last part of the trip was in Fukuoka, hanging out with Yuka's family for the New Year's holiday. On New Year's Eve, we braved the cold at midnight and walked to the local temple to ring the gong at midnight. We were all bundled up and the monks were only in robes. Hardcore.

My mom and sister left on the 2nd, and I just relaxed in Fukuoka until the 6th. I was taken out shopping on the 2nd, which is the equivalent of Black Friday in America. The department stores were jammed. There were lines to ENTER the stores! We would take the elevator up one floor and barely be able to move. I did my duty and waited by the elevator holding the bags.

Pictures soon.