An Okinawan Wedding

Last Saturday, I went to my first wedding (I'm not counting the one I was dragged to when I was 5).

I was looking forward to it a lot, mainly from a curiosity stand point. I have been told Japanese weddings are boring, and Okinawan ones are a lot of fun.

The person getting married was Kenichi-sensei, the 3rd/4th grade teacher at Tsuha Elementary. When he gave me the invitation, the first thing I did was to call Yuka. She said I needed to wear a white tie, get about $300 in crisp bills from the bank, and put them in a special wedding envelope. I knew you were suppose to give money instead of gifts at weddings, but I didn't realize how much. And I didn't want to go buy a tie either. So I asked an Okinawan friend, and he said in Okinawa, you are only expected to give $100 and I could wear any color tie I wanted except black. Okinawa 1, Japan 0.

After making the drive to Naha, I parked, put on my coat, and felt the way I always do when I wear a suit...slick.

But as I walked into the hotel and found the ballroom the wedding would take place in, I started to get nervous. I think one part of it was everything looked really expensive and I was afraid of breaking something. I think the other part was when I walked into the room, it felt as if the music stopped playing, the talked died away, and everyone started staring.

Well, not that bad, but I did notice my white-ness a lot more than I usually do.

Once I sat down and started eating, all the nervousness went away. Eating, it turned out, was the highlight of the wedding. The money you give as a gift goes to cover the cost of the wedding, and they certainly did not hold back. There were sashimi boats and sashimi salads, lots of Chinese-style dishes, and other soups and fruits. I felt like I ate $100 worth of food and I also felt like it had been worth the money.

During the eating process, which went on for about 3 hours, apparently a wedding was going on in the background.

To set up the scene, there were 4 huge movie screens, 2 on each side of the wall, and 4 camera men running around, with each camera hooked up to the screens. They also had an MC who, judging by his professionalism, was not a friend of the family. I could almost see the A, B, and C wedding packages the hotel offered in my head. It felt as if they went with package C.

There were three main acts, where the bride and groom came out each time wearing a different outfit. When the couple made their entrance, the lights would dim, and they would play some kind of music designed to make everyone cry. They would walk from one end of the room to the other, where there was a table and chairs placed to have them looking out on everybody. Friends and family would come up and make a speech to them, then when the speeches were done, they got up and left to change again. During the changing, there was a stage on the opposite end of the room where there were people doing comedy routines, dancing, and singing. More food would also be brought out at this time.

In the first act, the bride and groom wore traditional Okinawan wear. The dad walked his daughter out holding an umbrella thing above her head. He then passed the umbrella to the groom, and he walked her the rest of the way.

In the second act, they came out in standard Western wedding wear. They made their walk across the room and cut cake.

In the third act, they came out in what seemed like prom outfits. In Japan, high schools and the like don't have prom or any kind of school dance, so I think Japanese girls rarely get to dress up. I'm only guessing, but I think that's what this third outfit is suppose to be, a chance to look all pretty. The groom came out holding a long candle, and he and the bride walked to each table to light the candle in the middle.

After that, the bride and groom each read letters they had written to their parents. Stuff like, "You are the greatest mom and dad and I'm going to do my best to take care of my new wife." This caused more crying. They then swapped places and gave letters they had written to the other person's family.

Finally, the sanshin came out, people started getting up and dancing, and everyone ran to the stage and started throwing the groom up in the air.

Overall, lots of fun, and I want to be invited to another one. I tried getting a price on the wedding from somebody, but they said they didn't know. Yuka told me weddings START at around $10,000. I believe it now.

I, personally, would want to do it Singaporean style. I was told by a friend's girlfriend, that people in Singapore make a PROFIT from weddings. They do the money gift thing too, and I guess budget based on how much they expect to receive.

Either that, or have a back yard barb-b-q, Father of the Bride style.